Thursday, October 14, 2021

WRBL Week 5, 2021

 Wisconsin Rapids Bro League

Week Five
Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for lightning delays.

Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 5-0 W5
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 4-1 L1
Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 1-4 L4
Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 1-4 L3

Tanner Glaza Division
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 3-2 W3
Take Mahomes Country Roads (Ryan Dougherty) 2-3 W1
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 2-3 L1
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 2-3 W1

Week Five Final Scores
SNEEN defeats DARRIN 188.24-145.86
NICK defeats HOEFS 142.98-113.36
COLE defeats ANDY 147.2-126.28
RYAN defeats ALEC 150.38-134.54

Heroes of the Week: QB Lamar Jackson (41.88), TE Mark Andrews (41.7), QB Tom Brady (37.74)
Waiver Wonders: WR Antonio Brown (31.4), WR Kadarius Toney (29.6), TE David Njoku (27.9)
What-if of the Week: If Aaron Donald didn't exist, Drew Brees would have played all 16 games in 2020 and Russell Wilson would continue his consecutive starts streak into week six.

Patrick Smith/Getty Images
Hero of the Week: QB Lamar Jackson (Scott's Many Endeavors)



Upcoming Week 6 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Nick v. Ryan
Alec v. Darrin
Andy v. Hoefs
Sneen v. Cole 
Thursday Night Football: Tampa Bay @ Philadelphia 7:20 PM
SUNDAY MORNING LONDON GAME: Miami v. Jacksonville 8:30 AM
Sunday NOON: Green Bay @ Chicago
Cincinnati @ Detroit
Houston @ Indianapolis
LA Rams @ NY Giants
Kansas City @ Washington
Minnesota @ Carolina
LA Chargers @ Baltimore
3:05 PM: Arizona @ Cleveland
3:25 PM: Las Vegas @ Denver
Dallas @ New England
Sunday Night Football: Seattle @ Pittsburgh 7:20 PM 
Monday Night Football: Buffalo @ Tennessee 7:15 PM
BYES: Atlanta, New Orleans, San Francisco, NY Jets

Bro...

One undefeated team stands tall among the field of eight as we head into our first of the NFL's bye weeks. Despite a potentially lost season to be highlighted on international television Sunday morning against the 0-5 Jaguars, Nick Zurawski remains unfazed by the eroding roster the Dolphins trot out every week as Nick's 2020 fantasy season prepared him emotionally for the dangers of NFL football taking down players on a weekly basis. It also helps that his team, Scott's Many Endeavors has not lost by relying on zero Dolphins. Is he even a true DolFan anymore? Once Tua returns we'll know for sure. In fact, we might just get to see Tagovailoa in London against the Jags. I'm sure we're all rooting for a Miami Dolphins victory leading to the Jaguars making Urban Meyer book his own flight back to the states since he just needs some time for himself to get those losses off of his mind. It's a shame that Trevor Lawrence's rookie season has been wasted this way but in all fairness, the #1 overall pick has played like a 1-4 or 2-3 quarterback. 

In less expected lost season news, the NFL is all about the luck of the draw and unfortunately Russell Wilson can't draw right now, greatly hindering their postseason odds at 2-3 in a division starring the 4-1 Rams, the 5-0 Cardinals and a feisty 2-3 Niner squad that wasn't embarrassed by Trey Lance's first start so that's... something. Geno Smith hasn't started a game since 2018 with the New York Giants and ever since he fired his agent and bailed out of the NFL Draft green room after falling to the second round, the former Jet has not done a single thing worth making anyone confident in his capabilities to carry this sorry Seattle squad to a .500 record. They are effectively done unless this somehow makes DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett alter their routes, confusing opposing defenses as Chris Carson returns from injury to bulldoze their opponents. With Wilson's finger injury, Andy must turn to other options for the remainder of October and quite possibly all of November as he looks to rebound from a 1-4 start with Justin Fields now slotted in at QB... FOR NOW. It's not like I haven't tried avoiding the field with Fields by LITERALLY offering every single team a trade before kickoff Sunday but, I feel confident in a Justin Fields renaissance so just y'all wait and see!!! It may not be much, but it will be an honest scoring.

USA TODAY Sports
The sheen is wearing off on Pete Carroll's Super Bowl win from eight years ago with each passing season featuring a lesser Seahawk team.

The New York Giants got massacred by the now-Super contending Dallas Cowboys this weekend and their season also seems sort of lost at 1-4 despite some of Daniel Jones' best football to date. Unfortunately, Danny Dimes suffered a concussion and will probably be too woozy to keep the Joe Judge-coached Giants from leaning on Mike Glennon, Devontae Booker and Evan Engram (shockingly the one healthy weapon on this team). They're in this sticky situation after losing RB Saquon Barkley to a (thankfully) non-season ending ankle injury that will still cost him a couple of games minimum and their receiving corps stars different weakened variations of the same, experienced group every week. Kenny Golladay cannot stay on the field in his first go-round in NYC and Kadarius Toney shocked the world with his past two games of stellar football after showing no signs of delivering on his first-round hype before suffering his own injury, designating him questionable for this Sunday's game against the star-studded LA Rams defense. Their division isn't nearly as impossible to rebound in as the NFC West but, the Cowboys aren't just the best team in the NFC East right now... they might be the best team in the entire conference with Tampa's secondary issues. 

Picking matchup plays for fantasy has been trickier five games into the season but, things are going to start clearing up now that we know of at least 6-10 proven bad defenses with certain squads like potentially Seattle, the Giants or even the Dolphins just waving the white flag like my fantasy team has. This week, my Todd's Plan is to just set it, forget it and let the offers come in because EVERYONE IS AVAILABLE. My loss to Cole this week reignited the fire inside Cold Waters' fantasy football determination to end his nearly five-year title drought. Don't let this five-year title drought distract you from the fact that Darrin Aschebrook blew a 96-point lead to Cole in the Shelby Bowl. Cole plays Glaza Division Leader Tyler Sneen this week with the 96ers owning the WRBL's top kicker in scoring (Tyler Bass) as aided by his fantasy and real life quarterback Josh Allen. With how hot the Bills have been since their fluke loss to the Steelers, I don't see the Titans as a defense strong enough to contain coordinator Brian Daboll's attack and therefor, Sneen and Cole are practically equals considering Dalvin Cook's continued week-to-week status. 

John Autey/St. Paul Pioneer Press
Dalvin Cook's absence has led to Alexander Mattison (above) becoming a bit of a waiver wire wonder for the WRBL, now hitting free agency again after a second 20+ point performance for a second WRBL team.

My co-workers have been persistent on getting me involved in their discord calls even though I play none of the games they're playing and I mostly just meme along and it's a good time but, it really messed up my sleep schedule this past week and caused me to miss a majority of the Chiefs-Bills' lightning delay. It was odd, seeing back-to-back weeks with primetime lightning delays. I typically only expect Thunder to be involved with basketball... SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHAT'S THE STATUS ON BRO LEAGUE BASKETBALL @NICK ZURAWSKI? I WOULD LIKE TO DEFEND MY TITLE PLEASE. Seriously though, anything to distract me from likely letting another 1-win team waltz to their second win (this week, Nathaniel Hoefs gets the supposed bye!) is a positive in my book. I need to see Luka dropping triple-doubles as a form of escapism from my triple-threat of wideouts falling short AGAIN. It's also time for the two longest-tenured tax paying homeowners to face as Alec and Darrin see who wins the first phase in their personal Ultimate Dad of the Year competition. The next round will see the two comparing lawns in the battle of composting versus mulch. The coveted Dinkleberg is up for grabs and with Josh Tiffany busy putting together his own football team to rebound from his dead-last finish back in Year One, it's truly anybody's to win. 

Z's 5-0 team gets to play Ryan's 2-3 Take Mahomes Country Roads as the Chiefs' QB takes on an absolute tire-fire of a defense in Washington's "Borderline" Football Team. Taylor Heinicke is not going to be able to keep up but, this could be a fun shootout to watch on Sunday. However, nothing spells out "fun" more than the Cardinals offense right now and they get to solidify themselves as legitimate Super Bowl contenders with another win on the road against an east coast playoff team in Cleveland. The Browns have struggled to maintain our league's attention with no consistently fantasy relevant players outside of the RB-duo of Kareem Hunt and Nick Chubb. Both of whom started in week 5, with Hunt dropping an impressive 25.9 for Hoefs in his loss to Nick "No-longer Chubb" Zurawski. Nick "Still" Chubb also blew up for Ryan (in the week's closest win, over Alec) as there were practically points persistently popping off in the Browns' 42-47 loss to the LA Chargers. Justin Herbert has yet to get a start for Nate and uhh... Hey buddy, want Antonio Gibson after this week? Keenan Allen? Russell Wilson? MY WHOLE ROSTER!? Maybe I need to slow down. It is the first weekend of Bye Weeks after all and the Bye Week Blunders are sure to slow down these early-season freight trains.

AP Photo/Ed Zurga
Despite all that has already happened this fantasy season, first-round pick TE Travis Kelce remains the most valuable (trade bait?) player on Todd's Plan headed into Week 6.

Scoring Leaders

QB
Tom Brady 133.28 (Sneen)
Patrick Mahomes 130.9 (Ryan)
Lamar Jackson 130.86 (Nick)
Kyler Murray 121.46 (Hoefs)
Russell Wilson 98.64 (Andy)
Aaron Rodgers 91.04 (Darrin)
Josh Allen 90.38 (Cole)
Joe Burrow 47.26 (Alec)
Derek Carr 35.68 (Alec)
Daniel Jones 16.54 (Cole)

RB
Derrick Henry 134.5 (Darrin)
Austin Ekeler 119.3 (Sneen)
Najee Harris 96.5 (Cole)
Ezekiel Elliott 95.7 (Nick)
Aaron Jones 89.1 (Ryan)
Alvin Kamara 87.1 (Darrin)
Jonathan Taylor 84.4 (Alec)
Nick Chubb 82.8 (Ryan)
David Montgomery 59.8 (Alec)
Christian McCaffrey 58.4 (Hoefs)
Joe Mixon 57.2 (Nick)
Saquon Barkley 55.6 (Cole)
Antonio Gibson 53.9 (Andy)
James Robinson 50.7 (Ryan)
Alexander Mattison 49.4 (Hoefs/Andy)
Dalvin Cook 43.6 (Sneen)
D'Andre Swift 43.1 (Cole)
Chris Carson 35.4 (Nick)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.2 (Hoefs)
Chuba Hubbard 27.5 (Andy/Nick)
Kareem Hunt 25.9 (Hoefs)
Damien Harris 25.1 (Andy)
Chase Edmonds 22.3 (Hoefs)
Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)
Josh Jacobs 17 (Darrin)
Darrell Henderson 16.9 (Sneen)
Cordarrelle Patterson 16.2 (Sneen)
Mike Davis 12.1 (Alec)
James Conner 10.7 (Sneen)
Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)
Alex Collins 9.2 (Andy)
Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)
James White 0.6 (Andy)

WR
Cooper Kupp 118.8 (Hoefs)
Tyreek Hill 115.1 (Nick)
Davante Adams 111.9 (Cole)
DK Metcalf 93.3 (Alec)
Amari Cooper 80.8 (Ryan)
Justin Jefferson 79.14 (Alec)
DeAndre Hopkins 78.2 (Darrin)
Keenan Allen 76.9 (Andy)
Adam Thielen 76.7 (Darrin)
CeeDee Lamb 72.4 (Hoefs)
Mike Williams 71.8 (Sneen)
Stefon Diggs 71.4 (Hoefs)
Mike Evans 59.2 (Andy)
Brandin Cooks 58.5 (Darrin)
Calvin Ridley 58.5 (Andy)
D.J. Moore 56.1 (Sneen)
Deebo Samuel 51.8 (Nick)
Terry McLaurin 48.1 (Nick)
Michael Pittman Jr. 46.1 (Ryan)
Robert Woods 31.2 (Sneen)
A.J. Brown 29.3 (Alec)
Ja'Marr Chase 27.1 (Sneen)
Chris Godwin 24.7 (Alec)
Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)
D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)
Tee Higgins 16 (Cole)
Diontae Johnson 15.2 (Andy)
Julio Jones 13.6 (Ryan)
Tyler Lockett 13.5 (Andy)
Jaylen Waddle 11.6 (Cole)
Courtland Sutton 8.7 (Cole)
Terry McLaurin 8.6 (Nick)
DeVonta Smith 3.6 (Ryan)

TE
Travis Kelce 90.9 (Andy)
Mark Andrews 85 (Sneen)
Darren Waller 71.9 (Hoefs)
T.J. Hockenson 61.7 (Alec)
Kyle Pitts 55.3 (Ryan)
Noah Fant 50.6 (Nick)
George Kittle 40.6 (Darrin)
Logan Thomas 33.7 (Cole)
Dalton Schultz 13.9 (Darrin)
Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)
Mike Gesicki 8.3 (Cole)

K
Tyler Bass 53 (Cole)
Justin Tucker 50 (Sneen)
Brandon McManus 46 (Alec)
Harrison Butker 37 (Darrin)
Matt Gay 37 (Nick)
Mason Crosby 22 (Hoefs)
Jason Sanders 21 (Andy)
Daniel Carlson 17 (Ryan)
Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)
Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)
Matt Prater 4 (Andy)
Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)

DF
Denver Broncos 37 (Andy)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 32 (Alec)
New Orleans Saints 26 (Ryan)
Cleveland Browns 23 (Nick)
Buffalo Bills 21 (Sneen)
Pittsburgh Steelers 16 (Hoefs)
Arizona Cardinals 15 (Cole)
Carolina Panthers 14 (Darrin)
Los Angeles Rams 14 (Cole)
San Francisco 49ers 7 (Nick)
Atlanta Falcons 6 (Cole)
Baltimore Ravens 4 (Sneen)
Las Vegas Raiders 4 (Hoefs)
Miami Dolphins 4 (Cole)
New England Patriots 4 (Nick)
Indianapolis Colts 3 (Ryan)
Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)
Tennessee Titans 2 (Hoefs)
Cincinnati Bengals 1 (Nick)

Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)
Scott's Many Endeavors 4-1
SNEEN MACHINE 3-2
Yeezy Taught Me 3-2
Team ChowHounds 3-2
Take Mahomes Country Roads 3-2
Colieveland 96ers 2-3
Todd's Plan 1-4
Tax Paying Homeowner 1-4

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