Instant First-Listen Reactions, Track-By-Track: Drake's "Scorpion"

Drake is not my favorite rapper by any measure of my musical favoritism but, it's easy to recognize when a song of his is a genuine bop ("Hotline Bling") and that the man has the potential to release an Album of the Year at some point (see: If You're Reading This, It's Too Late and Take Care as his closest examples). The problem is that Aubrey Graham throws so much damn music at us constantly that he cannot control his own desire to one day own every Billboard countdown record known to mankind. He is popular enough that he could release a 50-track album and chart every song. The recent Pusha T dis track "The Story of Adidon", about Drake's secret son that he allegedly rarely acknowledges in his day-to-day life, has scorched the hip-hop universe and left Drake as an easy target for criticism at the moment and his response??? Releasing another bloated 25-track album after 2 hot singles and 1 dud sent mixed signals on just what we, the listeners were in for. So far, the reviews are brutally similar to 2016's Views and DEAR GOD PLEASE NO DON'T BE ANOTHER VIEWS. I've taken five days to even set up a time period to listen to this whole project and I'm ready for whatever it brings in another instant track-by-track review of every song on Drake's latest album, Scorpion.

As much as I appreciate Drake's self-awareness here, simply addressing the criticism you receive does not absolve from future critics.

A Side
1. "Survival" - "My Mt. Rushmore is me with four different expressions" = MEME GOLD. Generic as fuck boasts set over trap drums and a video game sound effect make for a memorable yet not great intro that's only a smidgen above two minutes. Congrats to 40 on making something out of nothing here.
2. "Nonstop" - This bass is pretty abrupt and awesome. Drake seems to have a problem with consistently jacking other rappers' deliveries and this is clearly his 21 Savage song. It is reminiscent of 21's flow on Post Malone's "Rockstar" early on and Drake does this weird thing where he quiets his own voice for ad-lib purposes and it's a nice change to the usual recipe of a Drake song but, this is still not that interesting of a song after the first minute and a half.
3. "Elevate" - Some angelic choir is used behind more trap beats skittering about repetitively. The choir of the beat and the piano make for what should be a more emotional IYRTITL-caliber track and instead, it's just more Drake bragging about Drake, which would be fine if he had anything interesting to say.
4. "Emotionless" - A 27-year old Mariah Carey sample? Yes please. The bass is back. Drake knows a lot of girls and this is easily the best song so far as he tells different stories of different women's struggles amidst the most conscious lyricism of the early-going here. This feels like the single "Nice For What"'s slightly less attractive twin.
5. "God's Plan" - We've all heard this. It's a genuinely catchy af hit but, it's also a mediocre song as a whole in my opinion. If the "My bed/Mahbed and my momma" line is actually confirmed to be as well thought out as conspiracy Drake theorists would have one believe then, I'm all in on this song. Until we find out Adidon's middle name, I'm not convinced. I always thought "Diplomatic Immunity" was the better of the two songs off his Scary Hours release earlier this year.
6. "I'm Upset" - It's 3 AM and I nearly dozed off to the third single from this album. That is not a good sign.
7. "8 out of 10" - This song is a return to form with a luxurious beat very present. "I've settled into the role of the good guy" is the line that describes part of why the internet is turning against Drake right now and Drake still can't shut up about Drake (it's okay to branch out and I know he can do better so, why isn't he yet?)
8. "Mob Ties" - I can't take this song title seriously when its Drake (WHAT MOB is letting Drake in?). Nothing really separates this song from the rest of Side A so far and my attention is seriously fading.
9. "Can't Take A Joke" - Again, I nearly doze off (probably did for a minute-ish.
10. "Sandra's Rose" - DJ Premier did an excellent job making a perfect album closer to bookend the braggadocio of the opener, "Survival". I'm glad the energy of this album has been revived after "I'm Upset" really derailed what would have been an okay disc and the next three songs did absolutely nothing for me.
11. "Talk Up (ft. Jay Z)"- 44-year old Jay Z brings some of the liveliest rapping thus far and I am just sad that this is the reality of where my grade for this album is headed.
12. "Is There More" - This warbled trap beat is unlistenable and for some reason Drake is suddenly giving macho vibes that are completely anti-Drake? "I'd rather lose my leg than lose your respect" is pretty random and man, this is just not good in any way. The only good part is the usage of Aaliyah's "More Than A Woman", where the late singer's best hit is slightly altered and no Drake is anywhere to be found at the very end. Disc A is a failure.

Disc A = F.

NOTE: I TOOK A BREAK BETWEEN DISC A AND B, SAVING B FOR THE FOLLOWING MORNING BECAUSE DISC A WAS ENOUGH OF A STRUGGLE BETWEEN CONSCIOUSNESS AND DULL AS EVER DRAKE, THAT I NEEDED A BREAK.

B Side
1. "Peak" - This is a chill as hell intro and I am into it. It's giving dark vibes that I am ready to explore but, even disc A had a promising beginning, only to fall into Views territory.
2. "Summer Games" - Noah "40" Shebib really brings out the best in Drake's music. This song is perfect 2018 #SadBoi music. I'm really enjoying the start of the B Side. This is a genuinely solid R&B song despite Drake's continuously monotone vocals. There is subtle crowd noise in the background as if this song were a sporting event and I appreciate that the mix is keeping that specific sample to a low volume because it could have easily taken over the track and tainted it's smoothness.
3. "Jaded" - Ty Dolla $ign ad-libs are the biggest trend of Summer 2018 and honestly, when an artist puts his work in at the rate Ty Dolla $ign does, it's about time he gets some more recognition. I am here for the summer of Dolla $ign. I'm okay with mellow Drake but, he's keeping it too mellow and monotone on many tracks so far, this one included. You can't just throw a song this forgettable three tracks into a disc.
4. "Nice For What" - We've all heard this one. It's one of Drake's 3 best songs ever. The Lauryn Hill sample is exquisite, the video is awesome, the lyrics are #WokeDrake. It's a major bop.
5. "Finesse" - Drake instructs the listener to "Turn everything up", only it's a piano beat and here come's more monotone #SadBoi delivery. His delivery on the word "Finesse" is uniquely annoying. This song is perfectly inoffensive. It should not be anybody's favorite or least favorite of the 25 tracks. At this point, I'm wondering why the fuck this is a double album? He should have at least separated the music somehow instead of scattering bops, snoozers, rap and R&B all over the damn place. There aren't any good transitions.
6. "Ratchet Happy Birthday" - For instance, this transition from track #5 to "Ratchet Happy Birthday" is also abrupt. Drake finally digs into the obvious autotune and something that would usually seem lazier is actually a welcome surprise at this point. This song is the strangest one so far with it's lack of direction and random "Birrrrrrrrrrrrrrthday" adlib.
7. "That's How You Feel" - I'm okay with this song and Nicki Minaj just popped up and turned the energy up with a sample from a live performance of hers (unless that was just a fake audience). Nicki Minaj rapping over Drake beats would make for one hell of an interesting album. Drake rapping over Drake beats... is stale.
8. "Blue Tint" - Future ad libs and background vocals 20 tracks in. Amazing that we haven't heard him until this point after these two released a tandem album three years ago. This track is perfectly fine with how quick it is. Drake needs to cut down on his albums or songs at the very least going forward. This works as a sub-three minute song.
9. "In My Feelings" - I see he's still really into the bounce scene as this song has a Magnolia Shorty sample on it. I can't detect where the sample from the FX show Atlanta is but, it's nice to know that Drake saw the episode and oh shit, there it is! Lol. This song is alright.
10. "Don't Matter To Me (ft. Michael Jackson)" - Again, 40 brings out the best in Drake. His production just has so much more life to it than anything else on this album. Even this middling beat that has no explosion to it feels so much more vibrant than anything else. I don't know, maybe Michael Jackson just adds enough to this song that it immediately covers up an otherwise mediocre song. Personally, my ears are loving this song and the Drake that lets other legendary artists shine on his songs is the best Drake because absolutely none of the best parts about this album involve the artist himself.
11. "After Dark (ft. Static Major & Ty Dolla $ign)" - Again, we have a Maxwell sample over a 40 beat and it's exquisite. The song as a whole? just typical generic lyrics from #SadBoi Drake over retro chill production.
12. "Final Fantasy" - There is a beat switch mid song, thank god. Nope, more of the same. Carry on. This is chill but this track is an unnecessary addition to a woefully over-hyped and over-packed album. In case you couldn't tell yet, this is not getting a good grade.
13. "March 14" - Something a bit more upbeat? It's about damn time. Oh, and he's finally addressing his personal life outside of vague lyrics about some girl and her sister and her family and zzzzzz... Drake does know how to make an album closer that always leaves the listener wanting more, I just don't see how he has anything left after a 25-track project with 5 good songs on it.

Disc B = D+

If you're only hitting on 25% of your songs, you're losing. Pusha T has more good songs on Daytona,than Drake has on Scorpion. I'm not shocked but, I am disappointed. This album will be a hit with kids 16 and under that have grown up listening to Drake, take everything he does as the best thing right now and will use lyrics I slept through as Instagram captions but overall, this is a dud. I only love If You're Reading This It's Too Late and More Life, I'm sorry.

Overall Grade for Scorpion: D-