Wisconsin Rapids Bro League
Week Nine
Our Seventh Official Season of blaming Cole Walters for the Matt Millen era in Detroit
Current Standings (with regular season won-loss streaks)
Steven Nett Division
Scott's Many Endeavors (Nick Zurawski) 9-0 W9
Team ChowHounds (Darrin Aschebrook) 6-3 W1
Yeezy Taught Me (Nathaniel Hoefs) 3-6 L2
Todd's Plan (Andy Todd) 2-7 L2
Tanner Glaza Division
Tax Paying Homeowner (Alec Swanson) 5-4 W3
Colieveland 96ers (Cole Walters) 5-4 W2
SNEEN MACHINE (Tyler Sneen) 3-6 L4
Take Mahomes Country Roads (Ryan Dougherty) 3-6 L1
Week Nine Final Scores
NICK defeats SNEEN 136.84-103.78
COLE defeats RYAN 110.66-95.98
DARRIN defeats HOEFS 107.86-105.04
ALEC defeats ANDY 119.98-106.32
Heroes of the Week: RB Jonathan Taylor (34), QB Justin Herbert (31.64), QB Lamar Jackson (30.64)
Waiver Wonders: QB Matt Ryan (28.52), WR Elijah Moore (27.4), QB Josh Johnson (24.48)
What-if of the Week: If Nathan benches WR CeeDee Lamb (4.3) in favor of WR Hunter Renfrow (17.9), Darrin loses his fourth in a row.
 |
| USA TODAY Sports Hero of the Week: RB Jonathan Taylor (Tax Paying Homeowner) |
Upcoming Week 10 Match-ups & NFL Schedule (in CT)
Nick v. Alec
Darrin v. Ryan
Cole v. Hoefs
Andy v. Sneen
Thursday Night Football: Baltimore @ Miami 7:20 PM
Sunday NOON: Atlanta @ Dallas
New Orleans @ Tennessee
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis
Cleveland @ New England
Buffalo @ NY Jets
Detroit @ Pittsburgh
Tampa Bay @ Washington
3:05 PM: Carolina @ Arizona
Minnesota @ LA Chargers
3:25 PM: Philadelphia @ Denver
Seattle @ Green Bay
Sunday Night Football: Kansas City @ Las Vegas 7:20 PM
Monday Night Football: LA Rams @ San Francisco 7:15 PM
BYES: Cincinnati, Chicago, NY Giants, Houston
Bro...
I know it's a different league/sport and all ("Never cross streams!" Father Todd used to always say) but, Bro League Basketball is still worth mentioning (especially when I'm actually doing okay there and my football team is decidedly NOT worth mentioning). Nearly a dozen games into the NBA season for most teams and it's obvious that A. COVID hasn't gone anywhere and B. This shit is wide open for everybody (are the Bulls seriously contenders? Is Boston going to be lucky to land in the play-in? Warriors = #1 favorites again??? Lakers: Washed or SUPER Washed?). Drafting a nearly entirely new roster (Jarrett Allen was the only holdover with Anthony Edwards being redrafted after a midseason '20-'21 deal) has been an okay strategy thus far with my team, Charania Missiles (Insider Shams Charania's version of Adrian Wojnarowski's "Woj Bombs") sitting at a solid 2-1. The leaders of the WRBBL (Wisconsin Rapids Basketball Bro League) are Nick Zurawski and foreigner John Jennings at 3-0. Our very own Cole Walters and another b-ball exclusive partner of the Bro Leagues, Avery are both 0-3. There's going to be plenty of time for teams to sort themselves out as the league year will finish well beyond that of the WRBL fantasy season. Outsiders will probably only hear about it if either Cole or myself win it all but I bring it all up to say that... Man, the NBA is so much more fun on a night-to-night basis now that I'm interested in box scores and have rooting interests on things like Jordan Clarkson's shooting percentages and Tyler Herro's night-to-night exploits as he redeems himself after a pedestrian sophomore season.
 |
| Jim Rassol/USA TODAY Sports Former Greenfield, Wisconsin resident Tyler Herro is lighting it up as a Sixth Man of the Year favorite so far for the 7-5 Miami Heat. |
Nick Zurawski remains undefeated after making sure Sneen knew that Sneen is not a machine, Sneen is not cattle, Sneen is man. Sneen has the power to make this life free and beautiful and yet he chooses losing to Nick Zurawski. Sad. I'm not sure what 9-0 Scott's Many Endeavors' DVOA is but yeah, dude's thriving more in fantasy football this season than the corn dog salesperson at Auburn football games. Somebody needs to edit that meme template of Death knocking on a fourth door (the first three of which leaving blood trails) with Alec's name on it. Can Z get to double-digits before I finish another delayed WRBL Week in Review or will Alec pull a Lee Corso by stating "NOT SO FAST MY FRIENDS!" and put on a mascot head of his choosing. PS: What would Alec's mascot head be? He's a Tax Paying Homeowner. Would it be a mailbox? paperwork? do the Chicago Bears have a mascot? Is it just a severed foot due to past kicking woes?
 |
| Steve Todd I actually met the Bears' mascot many years ago at a bar in Pittsville, Wisconsin. |
Opponents seem to just love playing Todd's Plan as of late so congratulations to SNEEN MACHINE on the recovery week after I lost to Alec. The Tax Paying Homeowner remains tied for first in the Tanner Glaza Division with the Colieveland 96ers, one week after Walt and his dawgs rode the Dolphins defense of all players to a low-scoring victory over Ryan. It's amazing that despite a wild game like the 9-6 Jaguars upset of Buffalo happening, the fantasy impact was muted as a whole. Lower scoring was certainly a theme this week with Buffalo, Kansas City, Green Bay, some of Dallas and plenty of the Rams malfunctioning in ways unforeseen leading up to week 9. Alas, the top four teams in the WRBL won and the bottom four lost. Like much of Hollywood's Box Office these days, week 9 was just a shittier sequel or remake of everything leading up to this. The only highlight Darrin quietly stealing a victory from Nathaniel's fingertips by 2.82 points. Some might blame Hoefs for not seeing the absence of a true #1 wideout in Vegas opening up the door for Hunter Renfrow to become Derek Carr's #1B option (#1A being TE Darren Waller), others might argue that the loss of future inmate Henry Ruggs really led to RB Josh Jacobs getting four catchable targets (despite not being known as any type of pass-catcher) for Vegas and propelling Darrin to his first win in four weeks.
Ryan's Take Mahomes Country Roads team name led to extremely limited success to the tune of 3-6 so with a lack of Mahomes (received his first benching) comes a new team name: Big Nick Energy. I hope that energy is just being used to beat Nick and not a way for Ryan to speak a nine-game winning streak into existence for himself. If that works, I'm renaming my team "WINNING LOTTO TICKET THE ONE TIME I WATCH THE NEWS FOR IT". Shit, that might be too many characters... How about "Andy's Dream Girl"? No wait, that's ultimately part of "Todd's Plan". "Free Medical Care and Therapy for the Homies"? That's more like it but again... character limit. I'm open to suggestions, I'll just leave the Suggestion Box outside Cole's house and hope Max doesn't chew it up and spit it out like this fantasy season has done to my team. As Russell Wilson tweeted before ultimately being removed from IR this week "No More Pin. Time To Win.".
 |
| USA TODAY Sports Not only did the Seahawks' offensive line have former Wisconsin Badger Russell Wilson SEEING ghosts, they also had him SPEAKING to them. |
My TD-only league's midseason meeting was a success (in my own mind) with us sacrificing a first rounder in next year's draft (WE HAVE 11 KEEPERS, before you panic/judge) to land WR Van Jefferson after the failed Michael Thomas galaxy-brain trade of the 2021 draft. Todd's Tornados also turned QB Jordan Love (prior to his first career start) into QB Baker Mayfield (needed depth at the moment) and WR Courtland Sutton (Calvin Ridley insurance if nothing else) and WR Allen Lazard (unvaccinated depth piece worth nothing to us) into an 8th rounder and RB J.D. McKissic (needed depth at the moment). We may have fallen a game out of first but, we are far from out of it in this weirdo bonkers year. Speaking of weird stuff, what of last week was fluke and where do the teams looking on the brink of breaking go from here on out? The Chiefs don't get their Andy Reid-magic bye week until week 12 and have to play division rivals in the city of sin on Sunday Night Football while the Rams look to recover from losing to a team that just lost their MVP candidate (Titans: Derrick Henry) on Monday Night Football against the San Francisco 49ers, a team holding out for a miracle to get them back into realistically grabbing the 7th playoff seed in the NFC as the third wildcard instead of fading into the team they've been every year under Kyle Shanahan that they didn't fall into a Super Bowl. No Chicago, Cincy, Houston or the New York Giants this week so at least the quality of play should be up! Let's hope the fantasy points are too!
Scoring Leaders
QB
Tom Brady 200.9 (Sneen)
Lamar Jackson 196.36 (Nick)
Patrick Mahomes 161.62 (Ryan)
Josh Allen 158.12 (Cole)
Kyler Murray 151.96 (Hoefs)
Aaron Rodgers 139.4 (Darrin)
Joe Burrow 124.38 (Alec)
Russell Wilson 98.64 (Andy)
Justin Herbert 42.64 (Hoefs)
Matthew Stafford 37.26 (Darrin)
Derek Carr 35.68 (Alec)
Ryan Tannehill 35.22 (Andy)
Daniel Jones 32.62 (Cole/Nick)
Jalen Hurts 27.9 (Ryan)
Tua Tagovailoa 26.54 (Cole)
Dak Prescott 18.88 (Sneen)
Justin Fields 14.42 (Andy)
RB
Derrick Henry 193.3 (Darrin)
Jonathan Taylor 187.4 (Alec)
Austin Ekeler 164.4 (Sneen)
Najee Harris 159 (Cole)
Alvin Kamara 158 (Darrin)
Joe Mixon 148.5 (Nick)
Aaron Jones 148.3 (Ryan)
Ezekiel Elliott 138.5 (Nick)
Nick Chubb 121 (Ryan)
Dalvin Cook 88.9 (Sneen)
Darrell Henderson 82.1 (Sneen)
James Robinson 74.7 (Ryan)
Christian McCaffrey 73 (Hoefs)
David Montgomery 69.8 (Alec)
D'Andre Swift 68.9 (Cole)
Darrel Williams 59.6 (Andy)
Antonio Gibson 58.3 (Andy)
Chase Edmonds 56.5 (Hoefs)
Saquon Barkley 55.6 (Cole)
Leonard Fournette 55 (Darrin)
Chuba Hubbard 50.6 (Andy/Nick)
Damien Harris 50.4 (Andy)
Alexander Mattison 49.4 (Hoefs/Andy)
Kareem Hunt 36.7 (Hoefs)
Elijah Mitchell 36.4 (Andy)
Chris Carson 35.4 (Nick)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire 32.2 (Hoefs)
Josh Jacobs 30.5 (Darrin)
Cordarrelle Patterson 30.3 (Sneen)
Khalil Herbert 27.1 (Alec)
Alex Collins 26 (Andy/Alec)
D'Ernest Johnson 24.8 (Hoefs)
Myles Gaskin 21.1 (Cole)
Miles Sanders 17.3 (Nick)
Devontae Booker 15.2 (Nick)
A.J. Dillon 13 (Andy)
Mike Davis 12.1 (Alec)
Melvin Gordon 11.2 (Ryan)
James Conner 10.7 (Sneen)
Kenyan Drake 10.5 (Ryan)
Zack Moss 10.3 (Ryan)
Michael Carter 9.6 (Cole)
J.D. McKissic 9.6 (Cole)
Kenneth Gainwell 2.7 (Hoefs)
Raheem Mostert 2 (Cole)
James White 0.6 (Andy)
WR
Cooper Kupp 235.4 (Hoefs)
Tyreek Hill 185.1 (Nick)
Davante Adams 154.6 (Cole)
Keenan Allen 129 (Andy)
DeAndre Hopkins 125.6 (Darrin)
Stefon Diggs 124.8 (Hoefs)
DK Metcalf 122.7 (Alec)
Michael Pittman Jr. 114.6 (Ryan)
Justin Jefferson 114.24 (Alec)
Amari Cooper 112.7 (Ryan)
A.J. Brown 113.4 (Alec)
Deebo Samuel 107.2 (Nick)
Adam Thielen 105.1 (Darrin)
Mike Evans 95.5 (Andy)
Terry McLaurin 95.2 (Nick)
Brandin Cooks 95.1 (Darrin)
CeeDee Lamb 93.9 (Hoefs)
D.J. Moore 90.2 (Sneen)
Ja'Marr Chase 83.2 (Sneen)
Chris Godwin 77.8 (Alec)
Mike Williams 76.5 (Sneen)
Calvin Ridley 71.1 (Andy)
Robert Woods 63.6 (Sneen)
Diontae Johnson 61.3 (Andy)
Jaylen Waddle 43.2 (Cole)
Tee Higgins 29.8 (Cole)
Marquise Brown 28.1 (Darrin)
Courtland Sutton 26.5 (Cole)
Allen Robinson 24.6 (Sneen)
Jakobi Meyers 20.8 (Hoefs)
DeVonta Smith 19.8 (Ryan)
Julio Jones 19.4 (Ryan)
D.J. Chark 16.8 (Cole)
Randall Cobb 16.5 (Cole)
Emmanuel Sanders 14.1 (Cole)
Tyler Lockett 13.5 (Andy)
Jerry Jeudy 12.9 (Alec)
Hunter Renfrow 12.8 (Hoefs)
Kadarius Toney 9.06 (Andy)
Chase Claypool 3.7 (Ryan)
TE
Travis Kelce 144.8 (Andy)
Mark Andrews 120 (Sneen)
Darren Waller 99 (Hoefs)
Kyle Pitts 91.1 (Ryan)
T.J. Hockenson 87.9 (Alec)
Noah Fant 87 (Nick)
Mike Gesicki 68.5 (Cole)
George Kittle 40.6 (Darrin)
Logan Thomas 33.7 (Cole)
Dalton Schultz 26.8 (Darrin)
Dallas Goedert 25.2 (Hoefs)
Tyler Higbee 25.2 (Darrin)
Jared Cook 10.8 (Nick)
Tyler Conklin 9.5 (Alec)
Rob Gronkowski 9.5 (Ryan)
Robert Tonyan 7.9 (Alec)
Dawson Knox 7.5 (Ryan)
Hunter Henry 4.3 (Sneen)
K
Tyler Bass 83 (Cole)
Justin Tucker 78 (Sneen)
Matt Gay 74 (Nick)
Brandon McManus 71 (Alec)
Harrison Butker 66 (Darrin)
Daniel Carlson 37 (Ryan)
Nick Folk 37 (Hoefs)
Matt Prater 36 (Andy/Sneen/Andy)
Mason Crosby 27 (Hoefs/Cole)
Jason Sanders 21 (Andy)
Greg Joseph 19 (Ryan)
Younghoe Koo 17 (Hoefs)
Randy Bullock 12 (Andy)
Greg Zuerlein 10 (Nick)
Josh Lambo 1 (Ryan)
DF
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 55 (Alec)
Los Angeles Rams 46 (Cole/Andy)
Arizona Cardinals 41 (Cole/Sneen)
Buffalo Bills 41 (Sneen/Nick)
Denver Broncos 40 (Andy)
New Orleans Saints 37 (Ryan/Darrin)
Carolina Panthers 26 (Darrin/Alec)
Cleveland Browns 23 (Nick)
Miami Dolphins 22 (Cole)
Pittsburgh Steelers 20 (Hoefs/Sneen)
Dallas Cowboys 17 (Hoefs/Darrin)
New England Patriots 17 (Nick)
San Francisco 49ers 17 (Nick/Cole/Hoefs)
Indianapolis Colts 14 (Ryan/Nick)
Green Bay Packers 9 (Cole)
Atlanta Falcons 6 (Cole)
Las Vegas Raiders 4 (Hoefs)
Washington Football Team 3 (Darrin)
Tennessee Titans 2 (Hoefs)
Cincinnati Bengals 2 (Nick/Hoefs)
Baltimore Ravens -2 (Sneen/Hoefs)
Chicago Bears -6 (Ryan)
Hypothetical Standings (Top 4 scorers win, bottom 4 lose)
Scott's Many Endeavors 8-1
Team ChowHounds 5-4
Tax Paying Homeowner 5-4
SNEEN MACHINE 4-5
Yeezy Taught Me 4-5
Colieveland 96ers 4-5
Take Mahomes Country Roads 4-5
Todd's Plan 2-7
